Defining Success

Posted on November 14, 2014 at 11:55 AM

What do you think of when you hear the word "Success"? I believe that we possibly are inclined to associate it with words like goals and achievements. To me this can tend to feel very ego and power driven. I’m not saying that it’s not good to have goals and work towards achievements and be focused in the way that you are living your life from a very clear intention and focus. However at times, if that is all that we are focused on then I believe that it can tend to make it feel hard to feel successful if we are not ticking all of the boxes so to speak. Even though we may have done our very best and still achieved a lot.

What rules do you have that define your own measure of Success?

Is it easy for you to feel successful or do you base your worth on how much you get done, or whether or not other people comment, or validate your efforts?

Do you wake up every day feeling successful because you are alive and breathing? Or do you have to wait to the end of the day, after all the boxes are ticked and everyone is happy and everything is neat and in order, before you allow yourself the feeling of success? I can totally relate to the latter. I used to do this to myself a lot of the time, the rules I had for myself to be able to feel successful were so hard that I rarely allowed myself to feel successful. This created so much anger and frustration inside of myself, because even though, I appeared to be “doing” all the right things and working harder and I was more focused than ever before, I didn’t allow myself to celebrate all the little things on the way. I had a “when …………….. (such and such happens) then I’ll be successful” mentality. I had completely forgotten to celebrate life and who I was becoming in every new moment along the way, forgotten to celebrate every time I made a new decision, found a new awareness, or just embraced my beingness.

Stopping to Celebrate

Pausing and reflecting I find are one of the most magnificent ways to bring us back to the present moment, to find peace and gratitude for life and for others, our experiences and ourselves. It gives us an opportunity to celebrate all the joy and wonderful things in every moment.

I feel that sometimes we can lose our self in all the “busyness” of obtaining goals. And the funniest thing is that really at the end of the day, the only real reason that we want the goal or the achievement is because of the feeling that we believe that it will give us. When I weigh …….kgs, then I’ll love my body and feel healthy, when I earn …….$$$ then I’ll feel financially secure, when I own my own home then I’ll feel like I’m on my way to being successful, when I find my partner, then I’ll feel complete……

Of course none of this is really true. Achieving those things, or having those things may enhance those feelings, but all of those feelings are found from within, in WHO we are BEING, rather than from what we are DOING.

This was possibly the biggest realisation for me that I’ve ever had! Because when I realised that my own happiness, fulfilment, peace, joy and love came from within me, in WHO I was choosing to be in each moment, then my doing, just became an outward demonstration of this, which was not linked or tied to any specific action or goal. I found anytime that I felt loving, grateful, blessing, accepting and joyous, then life and “doing things” became a whole lot easier, because of the energy and the way that I was doing these things from.

Previously I had been “doing a whole lot” coming from a place of “I needed to get it all done, so that I could finally be enough, feel successful, have a rest” etc. etc. Which left me in a state of lack, exhaustion, tiredness, anger and resentment.

Now it comes from a place of abundance in feeling so joyous and excited by life, because of WHO I am choosing to be and what I chose to focus my attention on, that “doing a whole lot” now feels easy, because of the energy of joy and gratitude behind it. I could still sit on my couch and feel successful, loving and very happy, as much as I would by ticking off everything or one thing from my lists! My feeling of self-worth is no longer tied to external sources of validation.

What does Success mean to you?

How do you define success in your own life? What needs to happen, or who do you need to be to feel successful? Being successful is a STATE of MIND, not an end goal. Therefore to feel successful, you could even just think of a time in the past that you have done something, or acted in a way that you are proud of. In that moment you will “feel successful”.

When we are able to make it as easy as possible to feel great, this is a wonderful resource for us, as we then tend to link those feelings to our identity. We start to use words like “I am loving”, “I am successful”. When we start to link it to our identity as already feeling and BEING that, then it reinforces the belief that we are already that way, and therefore our actions really will be a reflection of who we believe that we are. xx

“Watch your thoughts; they become your words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.” Lao Tzu

Categories: Self Love and Empowerment

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