Blog

Blog

Allowing the people we love to be on their own journey.

Posted on January 9, 2017 at 12:00 AM

Allowing the people we love to be on their own journey.


It can be hard standing by and watching someone we love suffer. They may be going through any sort of challenge, perhaps it’s to do with health, a relationship, work, school or their own self confidence.


Quite often we may feel the need to jump in and “save” this person. To help them fix whatever it is they are going through. We may give them “advice” on what to do, or what not to do, based on what WE BELIEVE would be best for them.


They may put up with a situation for much longer than we believe that they should or they may not seem willing to change it.


This can all be very frustrating for us at times. Especially if we love and adore this person and if we just want them to be happy.


Of course this is just another way that we project our own rules onto others, about how we believe that they “should be”, even though the underlying intention of doing so, is coming from a complete place of love and wanting the best for them.


It is still a CONDITIONAL love.


We can NOT assume what is best for them, and their soul’s evolution.


Even in the most challenging of circumstances, we do not know or understand why they are going through that situation. We can start to begin to understand what growth is needed for them to live the life they have always wanted, by questioning what it is that they may be learning. Perhaps they are learning inner strength, perhaps they are learning resilience, the meaning or purpose of their life or to stand up for themselves. Whatever it is I am sure that if they took the time to sit down and ask themselves, they would know at a deep level what that is.


It is NOT our job to interfere in their process, by judging it or needing them to change it.


The minute we go into judgement, about someone or their situation, we lose the power to influence that person. We may be so fixated on getting them out of the discomfort they feel, because we are looking at their situation, imagining what that would feel like and then feeling OUR pain associated with this, believing it to be their pain.


I believe the BEST gift that we can ever give to anyone is to hold the space lovingly for them in knowing at all times that they are safe, they have found their answers and they have come through this situation,(even if it appears that hasn’t happened just yet) without needing to FORCE, CONTROL or MAKE anything else happen. This is not being unloving, uncaring or selfish. By doing this, it allows us to let go of our pain that we are projecting onto them and be even MORE PRESENT for them.


It will allow us to lovingly and compassionately listen to where they are at, without JUDGEMENT, this will allow them the space to get CLEAR on what is happening for them.


The more someone feels judged for their situation, the more they will stay stuck, as they will feel the need to JUSTIFY, DEFEND and perhaps blame others for what is happening.


By holding the space for them, that they are whole, perfect and complete exactly the way they are and knowing that they are experiencing this situation for a reason, will allow you to not be as affected by their situation, both energetically and emotionally. It’s only when we jump into their drama and add to it with our own emotion, judgement, thoughts and beliefs that we will add to their negative feelings.


This is harder to do the closer we are to someone. It’s particularly hard to do with our own children.


It was one of the best lessons that I ever got in letting go of attempting to control external situations to do with other people.


To attempt to exert control of another, because of what I believed they were doing was morally wrong, created even more challenges and difficulties, not only for myself, but for my kids and the other person. When I stepped back, resolved my own emotions about the situation by doing “The Work” by Byron Katie (www.thework.com) I could then lovingly hold the space for my children’s soul journey.


Knowing with FAITH and TRUST, that what was happening was helping their soul’s evolve and grow in a very powerful way. I know that the lessons they learnt in that situation, was so powerful and they could have not have received those lessons in any other way.


We need to embrace the UPS and DOWNS of life. It IS CYCLIC. It won’t always be blossoms and flowers. We NEED the winter too, to appreciate the SUNSHINE.


It’s when we can find VALUE in all experiences that life begins to take a very different turn for us. We start to live with a peace and serenity in our hearts, regardless of what is happening externally to our self or to those we LOVE.


It is only FEAR that creates judgement through the SURVIVAL MIND. Often screaming at us, through its monkey mind chatter, that this is NOT ok, and starts to ruminate with FEARS from PAST EXPERIENCES as well as bringing in FUTURE what ifs! We have a powerful imagination and if it is not being CONSCIOUSLY directed by our heart and soul, in can have emotionally devastating results for us.


By dropping back into our HEART SPACE, letting go of judgement and fear, letting go of our SURVIVAL MIND attempting to run the show, then that is where TRUE FREEDOM is found.


With love,

Sal xox


PS. If this resonates with you and you are keen to learn more, SIGN UP to my FEARLESS WEBINAR!! Embracing Fear, to create a life you love!

Thursday the 12th of January at 6pm!

  • Understand why you feel Fear and how your biggest fears are your greatest guidance
  • Let go of feeling stuck and paralysed by fear
  • Melt anxiety and tension through this one easy step
  • Discover the one tool that I use daily to dissolve fear
  • Be absolutely clear on your 5 Top actions to take to create a better relationship, more money, more time, more self-belief and better health in 2017!
  • Extra BONUS waiting for you inside the WEBINAR!

Click on the link on Facebook to attend live, or get the recording!


 

Categories: Fulfilling Relationships

Post a Comment

Oops!

Oops, you forgot something.

Oops!

The words you entered did not match the given text. Please try again.

553 Comments

Reply Ordinue
8:19 PM on June 18, 2020 
Buy Prednisone No Prescription Paypal https://agenericcialise.com/ - Cialis Levitra Generico Gratis Generic Cialis isotretinoin tablet in germany
Reply п»Ñ?cialis
2:52 AM on July 10, 2020 
Best Place To Buy Cialis Zoguissifs https://acialisd.com/# - Cialis dreatarory Priligy Se Puede Tomar Con Viagra HiEtle best place to buy cialis online Imattepype Cialis Generic Overnight Shipping
Reply converse shoes
1:01 PM on July 13, 2020 
I would like to express my thanks to you just for bailing me out of this particular situation. As a result of scouting throughout the internet and obtaining opinions which were not powerful, I believed my entire life was over. Living devoid of the solutions to the difficulties you've solved by means of your main guide is a crucial case, and the ones which could have badly damaged my career if I had not noticed your site. Your main capability and kindness in dealing with the whole thing was useful. I'm not sure what I would have done if I had not come across such a solution like this. It's possible to at this point relish my future. Thanks so much for the impressive and results-oriented help. I will not be reluctant to propose your web site to anybody who ought to have direction on this problem.
converse shoes http://www.converseshoesoutlet.com
Reply golden goose
5:45 PM on July 15, 2020 
I'm writing to make you know of the extraordinary experience my cousin's daughter undergone reading through your site. She discovered a good number of things, which include how it is like to possess a very effective helping spirit to have others just know just exactly selected grueling things. You actually did more than readers' expectations. I appreciate you for delivering the warm and friendly, trusted, edifying and cool tips about the topic to Sandra.
golden goose http://www.goldengooseoutlet.org
Reply jordans
12:05 PM on July 19, 2020 
I would like to point out my passion for your kind-heartedness for men and women that really want help on this particular concept. Your special dedication to getting the message around has been exceedingly valuable and has truly allowed guys and women much like me to realize their desired goals. Your interesting publication entails so much to me and much more to my peers. Thanks a ton; from everyone of us.
jordans http://www.jordansshoes.us.org
Reply converse outlet
6:14 AM on July 20, 2020 
I want to voice my love for your kind-heartedness supporting men who must have guidance on this field. Your personal commitment to getting the message across had become extremely significant and has in every case permitted most people like me to arrive at their desired goals. The interesting report signifies much to me and somewhat more to my office colleagues. With thanks; from all of us.
converse outlet http://www.conversesoutlets.com
Reply yeezy 500
4:48 PM on July 22, 2020 
I precisely wanted to thank you so much once again. I am not sure the things that I would have created in the absence of the thoughts shown by you directly on such a concern. Previously it was an absolute troublesome circumstance in my opinion, nevertheless witnessing a new skilled form you resolved that took me to jump over joy. I am happier for your guidance and in addition expect you recognize what an amazing job you have been accomplishing training people with the aid of your blog post. Most probably you have never got to know all of us.
yeezy 500 http://www.yeezy-500.us.com
Reply birkin bag
2:06 PM on July 23, 2020 
Needed to post you one bit of word to be able to thank you very much over again for these amazing ideas you've contributed in this case. It has been quite particularly generous of people like you in giving unhampered all that many people could possibly have offered as an ebook to generate some cash on their own, specifically seeing that you might have done it if you wanted. These concepts additionally worked as the fantastic way to fully grasp that someone else have a similar eagerness really like my own to grasp a little more on the topic of this matter. I am sure there are millions of more fun opportunities ahead for people who scan through your blog.
birkin bag http://www.hermesbirkinbags.us.com
Reply yeezy supply
7:30 PM on July 25, 2020 
I simply had to thank you so much yet again. I do not know the things that I might have created in the absence of the type of hints contributed by you about this area of interest. It had been an absolute frightening concern in my opinion, however , seeing the specialised manner you managed the issue made me to cry with contentment. Now i am happy for your help and in addition wish you comprehend what an amazing job you are always providing educating people today via your webpage. More than likely you've never encountered any of us.
yeezy supply http://www.adidasyeezysupply.com
Reply kyrie 6
4:47 PM on July 26, 2020 
Thanks so much for giving everyone an extraordinarily brilliant chance to read from this website. It really is so kind and stuffed with fun for me and my office acquaintances to search your blog on the least thrice weekly to find out the latest guidance you have got. Not to mention, I am also always satisfied considering the terrific opinions you give. Some 4 facts in this post are undeniably the most efficient I've had.
kyrie 6 http://www.kyrie6.org
Reply golden goose outlet
5:20 PM on July 28, 2020 
My wife and i ended up being quite ecstatic Edward could deal with his investigation from the ideas he got from your own web page. It's not at all simplistic to simply happen to be releasing helpful hints some other people may have been making money from. And we do know we have you to thank because of that. These explanations you've made, the straightforward site navigation, the relationships you can help to engender - it's got most great, and it's leading our son in addition to the family do think the topic is awesome, and that's exceedingly essential. Thank you for the whole lot!
golden goose outlet http://www.goldengoosesonline.com
Reply supreme
2:48 PM on July 29, 2020 
I am only writing to make you know of the exceptional discovery my cousin's child encountered visiting your webblog. She picked up a wide variety of pieces, with the inclusion of what it's like to have a wonderful teaching heart to let other individuals smoothly master selected problematic topics. You really surpassed her desires. Thank you for rendering those effective, safe, explanatory and fun thoughts on this topic to Mary.
supreme http://www.supremesonline.com
Reply golden goose outlet
3:43 PM on July 31, 2020 
I wanted to post a small word to be able to express gratitude to you for those fabulous solutions you are posting on this website. My extended internet lookup has now been honored with good facts and techniques to write about with my company. I would say that most of us website visitors actually are really endowed to dwell in a notable network with many lovely individuals with insightful ideas. I feel extremely privileged to have come across your entire webpages and look forward to many more fabulous moments reading here. Thanks once more for all the details.
golden goose outlet http://www.goldengoose-sneakers.us
Reply calvin klein
12:55 PM on August 1, 2020 
Thanks for your entire labor on this site. My mom really loves carrying out research and it is easy to understand why. I notice all about the lively manner you convey functional techniques by means of your website and invigorate response from website visitors on that theme while my simple princess is truly starting to learn a whole lot. Take pleasure in the remaining portion of the new year. You're performing a tremendous job.
calvin klein http://www.calvinkleinsoutlet.us.com
Reply kobe byrant shoes
1:49 PM on August 4, 2020 
I am writing to let you know what a outstanding encounter our child undergone browsing your web page. She mastered too many things, most notably how it is like to possess a very effective coaching spirit to make other individuals quite simply fully grasp a number of very confusing things. You actually did more than our expectations. Thank you for giving these essential, trusted, edifying and also unique tips on this topic to Emily.
kobe byrant shoes http://www.kobe-shoes.us.com
Reply jordan shoes
2:09 PM on August 6, 2020 
I must express some appreciation to you for bailing me out of this type of scenario. Just after browsing throughout the world-wide-web and coming across thoughts that were not powerful, I assumed my life was well over. Living devoid of the approaches to the problems you have resolved by way of your main article is a critical case, and ones that would have in a negative way damaged my entire career if I hadn't come across your blog post. That know-how and kindness in touching all areas was crucial. I am not sure what I would've done if I had not discovered such a thing like this. I can also at this moment look ahead to my future. Thanks very much for this impressive and sensible guide. I will not be reluctant to propose your site to anybody who wants and needs guidelines about this problem.
jordan shoes http://www.jordanssneakers.us.com
Reply nike kyrie 5
1:59 AM on August 7, 2020 
My husband and i felt really ecstatic when Edward managed to conclude his survey through the ideas he came across while using the web pages. It is now and again perplexing just to continually be giving for free tips and tricks that some people might have been selling. So we keep in mind we've got the writer to thank for that. All the explanations you have made, the easy web site menu, the relationships your site assist to engender - it's many fabulous, and it's really leading our son and us do think the subject is pleasurable, and that's very important. Many thanks for all!
nike kyrie 5 http://www.kyrie5.us
Reply golden goose outlet
9:25 AM on August 11, 2020 
I precisely wanted to thank you so much all over again. I'm not certain the things I would have tried without the hints documented by you over such subject matter. Entirely was a real scary case in my opinion, however , seeing the very skilled form you processed that forced me to jump for fulfillment. Extremely happy for your service and even pray you realize what a great job you have been getting into educating many people all through your webblog. I am certain you have never come across all of us.
golden goose outlet http://www.goldengoosesneakers.org
Reply kd 11
7:51 PM on August 12, 2020 
I wish to show appreciation to the writer just for bailing me out of this incident. Because of looking throughout the search engines and seeing suggestions that were not helpful, I believed my life was gone. Living without the answers to the issues you have sorted out as a result of this short post is a serious case, as well as those that might have in a wrong way affected my entire career if I hadn't encountered your web page. Your good training and kindness in handling all the details was vital. I'm not sure what I would have done if I had not discovered such a stuff like this. It's possible to at this point look forward to my future. Thank you so much for your specialized and results-oriented help. I will not be reluctant to recommend the blog to any person who should get recommendations about this problem.
kd 11 http://www.kd11.us.com
Reply christian louboutin shoes
5:30 PM on August 13, 2020 
I not to mention my friends ended up checking out the best techniques from your web blog and so all of the sudden I had a horrible feeling I had not expressed respect to the web site owner for those tips. Those young boys had been certainly happy to study them and have now very much been tapping into these things. Thank you for genuinely really considerate and also for choosing some outstanding themes most people are really desirous to be aware of. My very own sincere apologies for not expressing appreciation to sooner.
christian louboutin shoes http://www.louboutins.us.com